Yeah, that image? Don’t laugh, but that’s the view from inside my head right now. It’s been a bit like that in there since 2020, when the thing of which I try not to speak (and don’t usually manage it) hit the news and refused to leave. The c-word that’s still there. I can’t bear it.

Not just because I’m physically falling apart

Right now, I am, though. I’m going to be trying an experiment as from my next post — looking at whether visualising, positive thinking and all that jazz can make me feel better. I tried to imagine…


Spoiler: I’m 50 this year. I always wanted kids. I don’t have any.

It’s one of those things you just assume will happen to you one day. When I was in my teens and met my first husband, I just assumed if we got married, we’d have kids. I remember car journeys, listening to the radio, picking our kids names when we were engaged. It was a given; we were going to get married, have kids and never get divorced.

Right guy, wrong time?

If we’d stayed married, I think I would have had my babies with husband #1. He…


Dad,

It’s five years since I lost you.

They say time is a healer; I’m not so sure that you ever get over losing your dad. Five years on, it still hurts like a headache that’s constantly there in the background, reminding you it hurts. I still find myself wanting to talk to you, tell you things that are going on, or ask you about something. I sometimes forget you’re not here any more and every time it happens and I remember that, I feel the raw pain again like it was 11th August 2015.

I wonder what you would…


I can smell it now. The bacon crisping in the frying pan, its savoury aroma curling through from the kitchen. The crackling of eggs frying in hot fat, crisping up around the edges and staying deliciously runny and yellow in the middle. The oozy, shiny fried bread waiting to mop up the yolk, fried in the bacon fat.

This was love. This was my Nan’s kitchen. This was the scene of my first ever food battle, the one that raged around me but that I was completely unaware of for decades. The two women I loved most in the world…


Yesterday, a story broke about an interview carried in the Radio Times with respected broadcaster Michael Beurk. The headline? “Let obese people die early to save NHS money.”

Understandably, his opinions have attracted a fair amount of consternation and anger, mainly from fat people, like myself, who don’t consider ourselves to be, as the veteran BBC News broadcaster described us, “weak, not ill.”

Personally, I don’t consider myself to be ill OR weak. I managed to keep up with a bunch of skinnies at the gym the other weekend, doing the ‘Abs Blast’ class, planks and all. Arguably, as there…


Do you remember those delightful school days, back in the changing rooms after a gym or swimming class, where one of the kids would scream in disgust,“Euw… you’ve got a verruca” at whichever poor child had just discovered the tell-tale signs on their foot? Someone’s mum would always be super-protective and send their little darling to school with verruca socks on, and luck would usually have it that it was their child who ended up with a crop of them anyway.

Despite the childish disgust, verrucae are harmless, and extremely common, just another ailment. Statistics show that as of 2019…


My name is changed - and I was married to an addict.

Yes, he told me he was a recovering alcoholic, and at first, he was. But the slip back into addiction and alcoholism was so slow and start-stop that by the time I realised it was too late and had to call time on the relationship, he was too far gone to accept help.

It’s confusing, being in a relationship with a drug and alcohol addict. Especially when they are as charming as John was. He regaled me with stories about his past life as a drunk, the stupid…


What do you think of when you hear the word ‘student’? Drinking, nightclubs, going out, meeting friends for life? It’s the start of your adult life, finding your feet and trying to find out which round hole your square brick fits into, career-wise.

That’s pretty much what I thought. I assumed I’d missed my opportunity several times. I went out to work in a pharmacy at the age of 16, straight from school. At 21 I’d managed to gain a couple of A Levels from free evening classes, and had a couple of decent passes in English and Sociology. But…


The number of people with diabetes is on the rise, and according to Diabetes UK there are more than 20 leg, foot or toe amputations every day — 169 a week — due to diabetes. Many people don’t realise just how important it is to take extra precautions with their feet and legs if they are diabetic. The shocking truth is that four out of five of these amputations could have been prevented with the right knowledge and extra care.

Taking care of the minor issues when they crop up could prevent them from becoming serious health concerns, explains a…


The wedding ceremony is over, the formal photographs are done and it’s finally time to start having some fun. Once the formalities are out of the way, the #1 thing people will take away from a wedding is the entertainment — the fun they had after the ceremony.

Even if everything was picture perfect, the flower girls were cute as buttons and the bride looked stunning, people are more likely to remember the point in the day when everyone relaxed, and someone convinced their slightly merry grandad to have his picture taken in a photo booth with a fish on…

Holly GoWritely

Of course that's not my real name.

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